Passing Years
by NikkiB1973
Summary: Jacob is going to die. He asks Bella to stay with him one last time...set fifty plus years after Breaking Dawn AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Passing Years**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

 **Part One-A Neverending Night**

Edward watched as his wife of fifty seven years packed her suitcase. The sun shining through the window lit up her vibrant hair, highlighting the redness in the chestnut strands. It also made her alabaster skin glisten with a thousand diamond sparkles before the sun was suddenly hidden by clouds. Edward thought his wife had never looked more beautiful or more radiant then she did now as she packed up her belongings to leave him for her yearly visit to Washington State. If he possessed a beating heart he thought he would find it lying bleeding at his feet as he was forced to take a step back and pretend that he was perfectly comfortable that his beloved was leaving to spend a month with another man, not just any man, but the man who had always held a piece of her human heart. Even now she was changed and had lived more of her existence as a vampire than she ever had as a human, the intense feelings she still held for the other man had only been heightened when she had turned. They could both deny it. In fact they had been doing nothing but that for decades, but today something splintered inside Edward's chest and he knew he couldn't condone her doing this anymore. D-day had arrived, he needed to speak, speak now and stop her from torturing herself and in retrospect him as well.

"Stay here, Bella. Do not go this time?" He hated that he was begging, but he couldn't help it when he saw her expression close down as she turned away from him. "Cut ties with him for good. Doing this only stops him from finding someone himself, from ever giving up the wolf and moving forward. And us? You know this is killing what we have built together. Don't go this time. Stay where you belong."

Bella continued to pack her clothes as if he had never spoken, only the stiffness around her shoulders showed her tension. "Why bring this up now, Edward?" She folded her designer jeans carefully and packed them with the rest of her clothes. "You know I have had this visit planned all year. Why begrudge him a month when you have me all to yourself for the rest of it?" She glanced at him briefly, her expression showing her irritation.

Edward knew the battle was lost, she was gone from him, had been for a long time. It had been years since she had allowed him a peek into her mind, in the early stages of their union she would drop her guard regularly, she knew how much he needed the constant reassurance of her adoration, but now he had no idea how she felt about him at all, or for the dog for that matter. He tried one last time. "Bella, please I am asking you for the sake of our marriage to put us first. Do not go; stay here with me, your husband."

Bella shut her travel case and locked it before lifting it from the bed easily. "I'll be back in a month, Edward." She said rather formally as she approached and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "We'll talk more then."

Edward stared after the departing figure of his wife as she glided silently out of their shared room. His felt dead inside, more so than he had ever felt before, some instinct told him he would never set eyes on Bella again.

* * *

The club was noisy, especially to Bella's ears. She winced as she weaved her way through the sweaty, heaving bodies which filled the large hall. The strobe lights above made everything seem surreal. Why had he wanted to meet her here? In this place? She sighed as an arm reached out and caught her slim wrist. She glared at the inebriated individual as his eyes roamed her body in its tight fitting black dress and high heels. It was an outfit the human Bella would never have dared to wear, she would have broken her ankles trying to teeter in the shoes, but vampire Bella was more confident and loved being able to wear more daring outfits than she used to, or indeed than she bothered to wear when she was around her own husband. Thinking of Edward brought down her mood as she shoved the young man away from her who was trying to get her to dance with him and melted back into the crowd.

Bella found him easily, her enhanced sense of smell and his strong scent made it easy. He was sitting at the bar, ignoring the many female eyes that were trained on him and watching her covertly as she shimmered through the throng. He grinned as she slipped onto a stool next to him, the tight fitting dress not impeding her at all as she smiled at the captivated bartender and ordered a glass of wine. She couldn't eat but she had found over the years that she could tolerate alcohol in small amounts. She had experimented one day out of sheer boredom, she missed the sensations of being able to taste and eat real food or drink strong alcohol and feel it slide easily down her throat. "Why here?" She asked as the bartender returned with her drink and looked regretfully as she leaned closer to Jacob, her hand gliding down one muscled arm. Jacob glared at the bartender and he quickly slinked away to serve the next customer. He did not want to mess with the big built guy sitting with the brunette beauty.

Jacob turned his attention back to Bella as he drank his beer. "Just needed to get away from La Push for a while…." He shrugged nonchalantly and continued to stare at her, his eyes looking at her appreciatively. "Nice dress."

Bella laughed as he glanced at her legs. "A last minute purchase. When you called and told me to meet you in here of all places I had to dive into the first shop I saw and buy something appropriate. I only packed my usual jeans and shirts."

Jacob grinned at her boyishly again as he slid off of his stool and held out his hand. "Let's dance."

Bella finished up her wine and put her hand in his. Immediately her cold skin blazed with heat. She had learned to ignore the sensation over the years as she knew Jacob did the ice cold feel of her hard skin. It was all part of the pretence they engaged in as they peeled back the years and acted as if they were the carefree teenagers they had never really been. They both still looked it after all; why not carry on with the charade every now and then if it made them both happy. They mingled with the crowd as Jacob pulled her closer and she laid her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the slow beat. Bella closed her eyes and let the music fill her soul as she absorbed the fierce heat from his closeness. For once she was the girl on fire and while he was near she would revel in it.

* * *

"Are you ever going to tell me why you need to get out of La Push?" Bella asked him as they strolled along the side walk. It was now four in the morning, the club was closed. They had danced the hours away, laughing and joking and making small talk. Now she looked up at his solemn face as she tried to read what was on his mind.

Jacob became tense for a moment as he took her hand in his and stroked the smooth hard skin of her palm with his thumb. "I won't ever be going back. My time there is over, Bella."

Her golden eyes widened in shock. This she had never expected to hear. Jacob loved his land, loved his home. He rarely left, and if he did would feel the pull to return so greatly that he began to pine for the forests and wide, open plains of his homeland. "But why? Why now?"

Jacob took a deep breath and glanced at her before staring off into the distance. "I'm giving up the wolf, Bells. I'm tired of living this half existence. I want to be free of it."

Bella trembled from head to foot. Her soul shrivelled at the enormity of what he was saying. "You'll die, Jake. You'll die." She choked out. "Please don't do this. I can't…I…"

"I am human, honey. I was always going to die." Jacob said softly.

"But not if you keep phasing. You…please. Don't do this? Please? Stay with me." It had been a long time since Bella had begged for anything. She clutched at his jacket as if she was drowning as she gazed up into his dark eyes. Her words were an echo of what Edward had said to her when she left. Bella couldn't fail to see the irony. But she pleaded anyway, over and over but Jacob would not be swayed.

Jacob took hold of her hands in his and smiled at her sadly. "Bella, everyone I knew or ever loved is dead now. The only reason I have stayed around this long is because I couldn't let go of you." He swallowed thickly. "But now I am asking you to let me go. Release me, Bella. Please."

His words were like an arrow to the gut. Bella gasped and sagged against him. "How long will you have when the wolf is gone?" She mumbled brokenly. "How long?"

"Not sure, but the years will catch up with me pretty fast, maybe a year, two at most." Jacob put his arms around a stricken Bella as they continued to walk slowly. Now that he had confessed to her what had been in his heart for so long, he felt calmer, more at peace than he had ever been. "I need to ask you one last thing…" he continued softly. "Will you stay with me? Just this once. Stay with me until the end."

Bella felt as if her whole world had darkened. All she saw ahead of her now was never ending night. She wanted to beg, plead and play on his guilt, force him to remain with her, to keep phasing and remain her anchor as he always had been. But Bella knew she could not continue to be selfish as she also knew at last, in that moment, that she would not survive his loss. She turned in his warm arms and smiled at him bravely. "I will do whatever you need me too, Jake. If you want me here, I'll stay."

A relieved smile broke out on his face as he hugged her close. Bella felt her hard body sizzle with the heat and she had to step back from him, there was only so much she could endure before it became too much. "Thank you, honey." Jacob took her hand again as they continued to walk on in silence, as the day slowly began to dawn.

 _ **A/N-thank you for reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Passing Years**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

 _ **A/N-thanks for the kind reviews, Nikki.**_

 **Part Two-Bonding**

Bella's conversation with her husband was short but hardly sweet. She informed him that she would be staying on longer with Jacob than she had anticipated and hoped that under the circumstances he would show some understanding. Edward's reply had been cold. "You will do what you always do, my love. What I or anyone else thinks hardly comes into it." He had hung up on her before she could say anything further. Bella had thought she would be upset at his coldness, but she found herself feeling rather indifferent. She glanced down at her left hand and wound her ornate rings around and around on her slim finger. Sometimes they could feel so incredibly heavy. She felt weighed down by them; they were as good as a ball and chain. Slowly she slipped them off her ring finger and put them away in her purse. Right now she felt it was hardly appropriate to wear them. It was with a lighter step that she went to tell Jacob the news that she was free to be with him for as long as he needed her.

* * *

They rented a plush apartment in Seattle. Even though Jacob wanted to be away from La Push, he still couldn't force himself to wander too far. He rejected Bella's idea of taking a long holiday and perhaps touring a little. He sat her down and told her all he wanted was to be with her, together, doing every day ordinary things, without anyone coming between them. Bella had studied him closely as he revealed the simple things he wanted. It had now been over three weeks since he had banished the wolf, and so far he seemed to be fine. The only difference she could detect was his scent and that his touch didn't burn like it used to. Now when he held her hand or put his arms around her, it was a pleasant warmth, and this enabled her to tolerate his embraces for longer periods. They had taken to sitting on the huge balcony of an evening which was attached to the apartment and sharing a glass of wine as they looked at the amazing view across the city. They talked about old times and they both felt the glow of nostalgia surround them as they laughed softly and smiled as they recalled their father's, Charlie and Billy. It had hurt Bella deeply when she had lost her father. She had travelled back alone for his funeral, and it was Jacob who had been her rock during this difficult time. Edward's only words had been ones of surprise. She was now a vampire, it was a fact of their existence and he couldn't understand her grief, as far as he was concerned Charlie had lived a full human life, so she should get over it.

Occasionally they wandered out for late night walks, they would stroll the city hand in hand when most people were asleep in their beds. It felt like a magical time for them, as if they had all of Seattle to themselves. Of course there was the normal night life, but it felt gentler during the wee hours of the night. Sometimes they caught a movie. Jacob would sit with his arm across the back of her seat chewing popcorn, occasionally throwing it at her when she became engrossed in the story unfolding on screen. He teased her mercilessly that she was still a sucker for a good love story, and it was moments like these that she felt her chest tighten.

They toured the clubs and danced the night away, both feeling carefree and full of abandon as they spilled out onto the streets at three, maybe four in the morning with the other revellers. Bella tried to ignore the fact that Jacob didn't seem as light on his feet as he had been and was tiring quicker. She would swallow down her worry and laugh and joke with him as he made fun of the fact that he couldn't keep up with her. Another month passed in this way, the time went so quickly that they were hardly aware of it as they were having so much fun in just being together.

* * *

One night Jacob told Bella he didn't feel like going out and wanted to spend the evening indoors just watching a movie and ordering a pizza. Bella acquiesced to his wishes and made the call to the pizza place while he selected a film to watch. Bella had been drinking a lot more wine of late and was now building up a real tolerance for it. She could now consume a whole bottle and not feel any ill effects. Even though she couldn't share a meal with Jacob she could drink with him and it made it seem cosier as she dimmed the lights and sliced the pizza, giving him a huge portion. Jacob smiled at her indulgently as she passed him the piled up plate.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to eat all of that." He joked.

Bella became tense. Of course he couldn't, she had simply forgotten. With the wolf gone Jacob didn't need to consume so much. If she had been human still she would have blushed. Instead she took his plate from him and smiled at him sheepishly. "Brain freeze." She tapped the side of her head.

"It's okay, honey. Don't stress." Jacob leaned back and watched as she took off a few slices and then passed the plate back to him. She then settled next to him on the leather sofa, a huge glass of wine in her hand. "You've become addicted." He said pointedly.

Bella shrugged as she took a sip. "It makes me feel more normal….you know." She tried to smile, but her mouth wouldn't work right and it came out more like a grimace.

Jacob noticed and put his plate down so he could look at her better. "What's on your mind, Bells?" He asked gently.

"Oh, nothing." Bella lied as she took another sip from her glass.

"You can't fool me. You never could. Talk to me honey." Jacob put his hand on her knee and leaned forward a little. It was at that moment that Bella noticed the first grey hairs glinting on his head. There were only a few but to her it was a sign and it frightened her.

"Jake, please. I'm trying…I am….but….I'm…I'm…I don't think I can lose you. Please reconsider what you're doing? It's not too late!" She put her glass down and locked eyes with him. She couldn't hold her emotions in any longer, she had been trying to shove her anxieties deep down inside but the little signs of his aging were getting more noticeable and it was making her feel vulnerable and scared. "These last few weeks, they've been…they've been the happiest I've been in forever. It's shown me what should have been…could still be if you change your mind. Please? I know I'm being selfish… I know…"

Jacob's eyes were full of empathy as he reached out and stroked Bella's abundant hair; he ran his fingers through the silky strands as she let out a dry sob. He could tell that it irked her that she couldn't cry. "Bells, I know you're frightened. I am too, but I can't go back to how things were. I…I was lonely. The pack is gone, my best friends are gone, my dad, everything that was keeping me here has already passed away…but you…" He paused for a moment as Bella hung her head. She trembled, something he hadn't seen her do since she was a human. "You are the one thing that I always wanted and could never have. I am not saying there weren't other women, but I didn't love any of them enough to marry them. I only ever loved you. But even that is not enough to keep me going day after day. I wish you could understand I need to see the end…I need…" He was getting emotional now as he ran out of words. He leaned his forehead against hers and they both remained silent for a while.

"Forgive me. It was a moment of weakness." Bella was the first to break the intense silence. She sat upright and picked up her glass, draining the wine as she tried to regain her composure. "And I do understand, now more than ever before. My life has been empty for a long time. The only time I was ever happy and excited was when I came to pay my yearly visit to you. They were the only times I felt remotely alive."

Her words only made Jacob feel more disconsolate for the wasted years. If only she had chosen differently. But there was no point in regrets. What was done was done. All it came down to was who you loved, and he loved her and she loved him. She may be a vampire but she was still his Bells underneath her hard veneer, and she had owned him the first time he had laid eyes on her. He forced a smile on his face and sat back. "I better eat this pizza before it gets cold." He picked up the plate and took a bite.

Bella's face slowly relaxed into a smile and they both settled back to watch the movie.

* * *

The film was finished. Bella cleared up the plates and wine glasses and dumped them in the sink, ready to be washed up later. She could feel Jacob's eyes on her as she roamed about the room, tidying this and that. His gaze was so intense that she could swear it was making her cold skin burn. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore. She turned to look at him and she could sense that he was building up to ask her something important. "What is it?" She winced as her voice sounded too loud in the tense atmosphere. "Whatever it is, just say it?" She begged.

"I want to make love to you, Bella." Jacob's words took Bella by surprise. She froze and stared at him, unable in her shock to answer him straight away. "Well say something?" Jacob demanded after another long moment had passed. He now sounded angry and hurt, as if by her silence she was rejecting him.

"I'm sorry, Jake. You caught me off guard." Bella floated about the room in her agitation as she avoided looking at him directly.

"Well?" Jacob pressed. "Is the idea of being with me in that way disgusting to you or something?"

"No…no, of course not." Bella forced herself to stop moving about. She swallowed a few times, an old reflex habit she had never gotten over from her years as a human. "I just…I mean will it be possible? Before…you remember…touching and everything it affected us both too much."

"I was a wolf then." Jacob stated flatly. "I am all human now, it's different. You slept with the leech before you changed."

"Yes and that worked out far from well." Bella snapped as old painful memories began to assault her. She hated revisiting her honeymoon; it had been less than a stellar success.

"I'm sorry. I was being crass." Jacob stood up and approached her cautiously. "It will be fine for us. You are not a newborn and I just really…really need you. I always have." It was the longing in his eyes and in his voice that persuaded Bella that it would be stupid not to try and give into the passion and desire that had always hovered between them, but had never been given in to for fear of what could happen. But Jacob was right, he was human now, the wolf was banished and she had total control, always had done. She found herself nodding and smiling slightly, suddenly feeling shy, like a girl about to experience her first time, and in a way perhaps she was. Jacob's whole posture relaxed as he cupped her face in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her.

 _ **A/N-thank you for reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Passing Years**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright to Stephanie Meyer.

 _ **A/N-thanks for the kind reviews, Nikki.**_

 **Part Three-First Fight**

His lips felt warm against hers as he kissed her lightly, softly, as if testing the waters. He pulled back and gazed at her for a second, waiting for her to make the next move, obviously not wanting to push her in case it was too much. Bella smiled slowly before closing her eyes and pressing her mouth back onto his, moulding her lips with his as she reciprocated. The sensation was pleasurable, a mixture of cold and warmth. There was none of the blazing heat that had been unendurable before. They kissed for a long time, just standing together, Jacob's hands cupping her face while she placed hers on his broad shoulders. Gently, carefully Jacob then led Bella toward his bedroom, very slowly beginning to caress her back through the thin material of the tank top she was wearing. "This okay?" He checked as they reached his bed.

Bella nodded slowly as she pulled back a little. She became lost in his dark eyes. "I love you." She said simply with no affectation. She sounded utterly certain and the glow in her eyes and the look on her face showed Jacob she meant every word, that the last barrier that had always been between them had dissipated. Bella's words were said with raw emotion, there was no hiding what this meant now or hiding behind the shield she was so good at creating. She was his, and for the first time in his whole life he knew the ghost of Edward Cullen was gone. Jacob smiled at her as he leaned forward and kissed her again, murmuring the words back to her.

* * *

They lay in the huge bed lying on their sides facing each other. Bella trailed her fingers down Jacob's arm, tracing the faint outline of a bruise which was forming on his tan skin where she had gripped him too tightly. "I'm sorry." She whispered, feeling slight guilt that she had hurt him in any way, even if it was just a few light bruises.

Jacob hushed her. "They'll fade, honey. You didn't hurt me. I loved every minute of it."

"Really?" Bella wanted to believe him; she had tried to be as careful as she could as they slowly made love but as the passion built between them her control had been tested to the limit. For the first time she finally understood how ambivalent and scared Edward must have felt when she kept pushing and pushing for him to show more physical affection when she was still human. She had been a naïve fool. Of course she had been very seriously hurt after her first union with Edward, thankfully Jacob had suffered only a few bruises, but it still upset her.

Jacob touched her cheek and stroked it. "Yes, really. I'm fine honestly. It will get easier for you I know it will. Stop stressing."

"So we'll be doing this again will we?" Bella put her fears to one side; Jacob did seem to be genuinely happy and relaxed. Perhaps she was making too big a deal of it.

"Hell yeah." Jacob laughed as she rolled her eyes at his boyish enthusiasm. "Like right now perhaps?" He suggested as the mirth left his face and his expression turned hungry.

Bella leaned forward and kissed him effectively ending the conversation.

* * *

They spent the day in bed, either making love, or in Jacob's case sleeping. While he rested Bella would lie next to him and watch him for a while, her eyes roving his beautiful face worriedly. Her anxieties were building up inside her again. This, this is what she knew she now wanted, what she could have had if only she had made the right choice in the first place and listened to what her heart had been telling her instead of playing into her vanity and silly fears about him imprinting and leaving her one day. After all that Jacob had never imprinted, in fact no one else after Paul Lahote had. Embry, Leah, Seth, Colin and Brady had all married outside of the pack. After waiting a few years to see if anyone else imprinted they had decided to stop putting their lives on hold and start to allow themselves to form other relationships. The pack, under Jacob's leadership, after he had taken on his birth right when Sam had stepped down, continued to phase for years even after the threat of cold ones became nothing but a distant memory. Sam had been the first to give up the wolf at the age of fifty. He wanted to begin to grow old with Emily who was now really showing her age and pressing him to go into retirement. He was dead within a year from a heart attack. His sudden death and rapid decline shocked the other pack members and they held off giving up the wolf until, as more time passed, they began to think Sam's quick death was an anomaly. As one they all decided to stop phasing together, apart from Jacob who was still single and had no one urging him to grow old with them. Unfortunately it appeared Sam's quick death was not an anomaly. One by one Jacob had to endure seeing his brothers and his pack sister die within months of each other as their hearts failed. Leah was the longest to survive; she managed to hold on for over two years before she died in her husband's arms.

The deaths of the pack had shocked the elders of the tribe as well as Jacob himself. It appeared there was a big side effect from allowing the spirit wolves to inhabit their bodies. While they had the strength of the wolf inside them it gave them the ability to stay young and not age as well as their quick healing ability, but once the wolf was banished the toll it took on their bodies and hearts quickly caught up with them. There was no warnings in the old legends about the last pack dying like this, but then times were different then and life expectancy much shorter anyway. So maybe it just wasn't deemed important.

All of this ran through Bella's head as she watched Jacob sleep. Already she could see the signs that he was rapidly deteriorating. The grey hairs, the way he could no longer keep up with her like he used to. They may only be little things but it was a start and although she had made him a promise not to bring up the subject again she knew she would not be able to keep silent. She loved him, she really loved him. They had found something special. She couldn't lose him, she couldn't. Bella rested her head on his chest as he slept and counted the beats of his heart, panicking each time it seemed to slow down or jerked in his chest.

When Jacob finally woke up he found Bella in a state of distress as her anxieties overwhelmed her. She kept thinking his heart had stopped every time he took a deep breath as he slept or he rolled onto his side. If it didn't sound right in her frazzled mind she crouched over him, ready to start CPR and pump his chest. She wasn't going to lose him, not now. "Bells, what the hell is wrong?" He took her hands in his as she stared at him in anguish. "What's happened?"

"You have to start phasing again, Jake. You have to. I can't cope, I can't. Please, just bring back the wolf. We can be together, live together. Please, please don't die, Jake. I can't bear it. I can't." Bella gripped his hands tightly, not aware that she was hurting him until he winced. She snatched her hands away and curled up into a ball facing away from him. "Please Jake, I'm begging you." She choked out.

"Stop it, Bella. Just stop." Jacob yelled at her as she kept on and on pleading with him.

"I can't. I can't. Please, please…" Bella knew she was being selfish, knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't stop herself. Being a vampire heightened her emotions and tended to make her overreact and not listen to reason. All vampires suffered from the same syndrome. If they were angry, they would explode, if they were sad, they became suicidal and if they were happy they would be over exuberant with boundless energy that would exhaust a human. Normally she could rein it in a lot of the time but she had worked herself up into such a state she was inconsolable. "Promise me, Jake. Promise me. Say you'll phase again, please…."

"ENOUGH BELLA." Jacob roared at her as he slid off the bed after trying in vain to calm her down. "I won't go back to that old life. I don't want it. I told you this. You can't ask me to go back to it. If I brought back the wolf we could never be close physically like we've just been. We'd kill each other if we tried. I don't want to live an eternity not being able to touch you, make love to you. If you stop being so damn selfish you wouldn't force me to."

Bella wasn't listening. She continued to beg until he couldn't listen to her any longer. Jacob dressed quickly, grabbed his jacket and fled the apartment. He was so pissed at her that he couldn't think straight. Bella trembled as she watched him go, knowing inside that she had pushed him too far, but still in too much of state to go after him.

* * *

Jacob was gone for hours. Bella thought about tracking him down, but decided that was the last thing he would want. An hour or so after he had left her alone she managed to regain control of herself. When she thought about what she had done it sickened her. She had only ever been that emotional once since she had been changed, that was when she had been faced with the loss of her father. She had effectively had a major melt down, and with Edward's indifference to her plight, it had been left to Rosalie of all people to calm her down and make her see sense. Bella had never thought she and the icy blonde would ever have formed a friendship, but Rosalie was the only one who seemed to understand her distress at the loss of her human father and it was her suggestion that Bella go to his funeral and gain some closure. Bella had taken her advice and was forever grateful that she had done so. Now she had suffered another breakdown at the thought of losing someone precious from her life again. Jacob was and always had been her anchor, it was only now that she realised how big a part he had played in keeping her sane through the years. She had quickly tired of being a vampire, doing the same empty things day after day. Attending countless schools over and over, listening to the same inane chatter of the others day after day, reading the same books, listening to the same music, constantly moving from town to town, never able to settle, never feeling alive. Only one month of the year would her existence light up and that was going to see her sun, and now she was going to lose him.

As evening drew in and the sun sank below the horizon Jacob finally came back to the apartment. His face was awash with sadness as he stepped inside. As soon as she heard him enter Bella flew at him and put her arms around him, forcing herself not to squeeze too tight. "I am a selfish creature and I am so sorry, Jake, so sorry. What you said, everything was right. I understand. A few months of what we have now are worth an eternity of being without it. Forgive me, I love you. I was just frightened."

Jacob hugged her close, his head dropping to rest in the crook of her neck. "I want it too, honey. Don't think I haven't thought about it. I was walking around and around and I nearly did it, I nearly called the wolf back…"

"Jake…" Bella was aghast as guilt washed over her at what she had so nearly forced him to do.

"Hush, I didn't do it. I love you, Bella. I want to be close to you. I don't want to have to be forced to keep a distance between us like before. I want this, us as we are now. I don't want to go back to being friends, not able to touch you because of the differences between us." He kissed the nape of her neck and held her tighter as his emotions overwhelmed him. "I want to love you for as long as I have left."

"I think we've just had our first fight." Bella pulled back and smiled tremulously at him, trying to lighten the mood again. "Does that mean we're a proper couple now?"

"Hell yeah." Jacob kissed her gently on the lips as he smiled down at her with love pouring from his eyes.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Passing Years**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

 _ **A/N-thanks for the kind reviews, Nikki.**_

 **Part Four-Twin Worlds**

Time passed and as much as Bella tried to hold onto it, it continued to trickle through her fingers. The days turned into weeks, turned into months and before she knew it a whole year had passed, a whirlwind year where she and Jacob spent every spare moment together, laughing, sometimes squabbling, and making love. Every second was precious and they tried to pack in as much as they could, they went out to shows, saw films, went clubbing, took long strolls in the parks and through the city. Sometimes they would just stay inside for the whole day making love, talking nostalgically about the past and sitting out on the balcony they had come to love, drinking wine and gazing upon the people going about their lives below them. But as the next year dawned Jacob began to really deteriorate. His once shiny black hair was peppered with grey, he had lost a lot of his bulk and he was slower on his feet then he was. Bella refused to show him her anguish as she watched him become older before her eyes. Looks didn't matter to her; he was still her Jacob inside. But when she would catch him gasping for breath and holding his hand across his chest, then she couldn't contain her panic, and it took a lot of willpower for her not to show her alarm and fuss over him, although at night she was on constant watch while he slept.

They tried living in denial. Jacob refused to discuss his fading health, he put a brave face on any pain and Bella tried her best to follow his lead, although she wondered whether he saw the anxious looks she would dart his way when she noticed his face scrunching up in pain. One morning they were out strolling through the city mingling with the crowds on the side walk. It was an overcast day with just a light wind. Jacob usually enjoyed the walks but today Bella could see he was flagging. "Perhaps we should go back to the apartment?" She suggested when she saw him grimace in pain.

"Yes." Jacob gasped, reaching out to lean on her as they slowly turned back toward home.

* * *

Jacob got worse during the day. He slept for a long time but when he woke up he was still in pain and his ashen face only alarmed Bella more. She begged him to seek medical assistance but he refused to. "We knew this was going to happen, honey." He put a trembling hand on her face and stroked her smooth skin. "I just need to rest more." He had eaten a light snack and then retired to bed again. Bella hovered over him, watching the rise and fall of his chest anxiously as he slept, that was until a knock at the door interrupted her. Who the hell could that be? They never had visitors. She hurried to answer it in case the knocking disturbed Jacob. When she opened the door she was shocked to find Rosalie standing on her doorstep.

* * *

Rosalie's beautiful face was full of empathy as she sat next to Bella on the leather sofa. "How are you coping?" She asked gently.

"Not well." Bella confessed. "I'm trying not to fall apart in front of him, but it's so hard…." Her voice tailed off as she gave into her despair. She closed her eyes as she felt Rosalie's hand touch her hair and stroke it.

"I am so sorry this happened to him. I know we had our differences, but I know how much he means to you. I've been thinking about you since I heard that you were staying on here. I had to come." Rosalie sighed as Bella's face crumpled. It was obvious she was under immense strain, she had no one to talk to about how she was feeling and the toll it was taking seeing the man she loved failing before her eyes.

"Thank you." Bella allowed Rosalie to hug her for a moment before she gathered herself together and pulled away. "How is Edward? I haven't heard from him in months."

"Edward is Edward." Rosalie said bitterly. "Full of self-importance as always and feeling immensely sorry for himself. He spends his days at the piano writing ever more turgid and morbid symphonies and driving poor Esme mad and even trying Carlisle's patience."

Bella couldn't help the small snort of laughter that erupted from her lips at the image Rosalie painted of her estranged husband. "I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh…" She muttered guiltily.

"Why ever not?" Rosalie smiled grimly. "Edward is a fool…." She stopped speaking when she saw Bella's eyes dart toward the room where Jacob was sleeping. "How bad is he?" She questioned in a gentler tone.

"Very bad." Bella's face was full of despair and it made Rosalie's chest ache in sympathy. She couldn't imagine how she would cope if anything like that were to happen to Emmet. She put her hand over Bella's and squeezed causing Bella to lock eyes with her. "Rose, I need you to do something for me."

"I will look out for Edward, we all will." Rosalie didn't need to be psychic to know what Bella was intending to do. It was written all over her face. Rosalie leaned forward and kissed Bella on the cheek before she whispered quietly in her ear. "I will be thinking of you both. I hope you find your peace, Bella. I really do." With those parting words she hugged Bella briefly again before she took her leave. Rosalie instinctively knew she would never see Bella Swan alive again.

* * *

It happened in the early hours of the morning. Bella was sitting cross legged on the bed next to Jacob when she saw him jerk, his eyes flared open and he inhaled sharply. "Bells…." He cried out in fear as he clutched at his heart.

Bella sprang into action at once. She threw down the book she had been reading and quickly began to perform CPR. "Come on Jake don't leave me yet, please, please…." She begged over and over as she pumped his chest.

It seemed an eternity before she heard Jacob inhale quietly and his heart stuttered to life in his chest. Bella felt as if she had lived through ten life times as she anxiously studied his ashen face for signs of life. Achingly slowly Jacob opened his weary eyes and gazed up into her golden ones. "Take me home, Bells. I want to go home to La Push now…I want to die on my lands." He choked out.

Bella nodded as she carefully picked him up in her hard arms. He felt so lightweight. He was unable to walk and his breathing was shallow. She could hear his heart stuttering in his chest and she worried they wouldn't make it in time. She would drive like the devil if she had to. There was no way she was going to let him down now.

* * *

Twice on the journey to the reservation Jacob's heart stopped. Twice Bella had to perform CPR to get it started again. He was drifting in and out of consciousness the whole time and she became frantic that he was going to pass away before they reached their destination. "Hold on, Jake. Hold on." She said over and over as the familiar terrain of Forks came into view. "Not long now, sweetheart, not long now…."

* * *

As the sun began to rise over the horizon, bathing the wide open fields and the tops of the trees in light Bella reached Jacob's old home. She parked up and stared in wonder at the familiar redwood house where she had spent so many happy times with Jacob in the distant past. Some of it had fallen into disrepair and the weeds had grown up around the front yard. Vandals had obviously attacked the main house as the front door had been kicked in and she could see some of the contents chucked outside. It saddened her seeing her former sanctuary abused in this way. "Oh Jake." She whispered brokenly as she glanced at him. His eyes were closed and it was only the rise and fall of his chest that showed he was still breathing. "I won't take you in there." She glanced across at the old garage which they had christened their Taj Mahal. Considering the damage to the main house this seemed surprisingly intact. "There, we'll go there, sweetheart." Bella climbed out of the car and eased Jacob out of his seat gently before carrying him over to the garage and heading inside.

She spotted it as soon as she turned on the lights. Its wheels were long gone and it was stacked up on a pile of bricks, but there was no mistaking the old red monster. He had kept her red Chevy, even after all these years. Bella nearly fell apart; she shook as she carried Jacob over to the truck and opened one of the doors. She slid his body along the bench seat and climbed in after him. "Jake, I love you. Can you hear me? I love you."

Jacob's eyes opened briefly, he looked at her as a glimmer of a smile crossed his lips. "I'm home now." He mumbled.

"You're home, Jake. You're home." Bella held onto him tightly as she rocked him back and forth. She could feel his heart jumping in his chest as it finally stuttered to a halt for the last time.

"I love you, Bells." His last words were barely a whisper but she caught them. She held onto him tight as he gasped one more time before slipping away.

"Wait for me, sweetheart." Bella murmured as she rocked his lifeless body in her arms. "I'm coming."

* * *

The engine still worked. Bella smiled sadly as it rumbled to life. She had so missed that sound. She climbed out of the cab and lifted up the hood of the truck so she could unscrew the oil cap. The smell of rancid oil made her gag a little but she ignored it and pulled a box of matches out of her pocket. She lit one and threw it into the oil. Fire flared up at once. She stepped back and shielded her eyes, satisfied that it would do the job. She shut the hood of the old iron monster and climbed back in the cab. Taking Jacob's lifeless body in her arms again she closed her eyes tight as an old vision unfurled in her mind. She was standing in a meadow full of wildflowers holding onto the hands of two impatient black haired children as they begged to run over to the man striding toward them in the distance…the truck exploded.

* * *

Bella felt a wave of heat wash over her as she opened her eyes and stared down at the twins. They were looking up at her impatiently. They could see their father coming home from work and they were desperate to greet him. Bella smiled. "Ready?"

"We're ready." The twins said in unison.

Bella laughed as she suddenly darted forward, towing the twins with her as they ran toward Jacob as he hunkered down and held out his arms to his family, ready to scoop them up in his strong arms.

 _ **FIN….**_


End file.
